If I look like a mess, It's because I am!

I never expected to be a single mom.  And it wasn't until I saw how my marriage was affecting my health that I even considered getting a divorce.  When you wake up and realize that anger, sadness and depression have consumed you during what is meant to be a lovely and joyful time of life, you are lucky if you also realize that life isn't meant to be lived that way.  That you deserve a chance to feel better.  That your children need you to feel better.  That your relationship is not working.  That you need to end your marriage.

Single parenthood is not easy.  It is not a straight and narrow path.  It twists and turns all over the place, sometimes until you can no longer see straight, but as you take more steps and travel farther, you start to realize that the path is yours to create.  It is intimidating and overwhelming from all angles but it is also freeing and inspiring.  Your children will most likely see you as you really are ~ the good, the bad and the ugly.  They will see you at your best and more importantly, at your worst.

If I look like a mess, it's because for today, I am!  I certainly don't always have "it" together and sometimes "it" really shows. 

But I am still here, I made it.  And I'm not going to give up.  When my kids look back on their childhood, I don't think they'll remember me taking them to school in my wrinkly pj's, glasses and uncombed hair.  I think they'll remember their mom taking them to school.  And that's exactly what I want them to remember.  That I was there.

So I show up and I do the best I can.  I keep trying because single parenthood is hard.  But at the end of the day, my children will know their mother for who she really is ~ the good, the bad and the ugly ~ and I think they will be glad that they do.